Re: Can you help me?
Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 2:16 pm
by Spiny Norman
This is totally the wrong place but I have them, so I might as well oblige you. But don't think you'll be so lucky every time!
Save this in a txt file and rename it changing ".txt" to ".srt".
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A KISS FROM MARY PICKFORD
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Starring as themselves:
Mary Pickford
Douglas Fairbanks
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00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:29,396
Dusya Palkina was studying
to become a film star.
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00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,164
It needs more feeling...
try it again.
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00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,688
Who is this?
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00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:39,265
Goga Palkin ... another guy
who's after me.
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00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:51,144
Goga Palkin ...
on the job.
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00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:58,485
The mark of Zorro.
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00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:27,313
The last show of
the evening.
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00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:41,461
Admission for two
12th row № 14 & 15
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00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,706
Get dressed!
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00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,058
Hey, stupid! How can HE see if
you're right in the way?
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00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,985
Wow! Doug can
really kiss!
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00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,062
If only you were a
star like Doug!
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00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,522
Let me see
your tickets!
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00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:50,376
You're all over the place!
A person can't even fall down!
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00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,731
We're really stuck
with you wiseguys!
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00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:43,963
An hour later ...
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00:07:59,011 --> 00:07:59,979
The end
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00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:25,731
It's Malinovska ...
and Rohozhin ...
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00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:18,451
When you're a star, then
you can be my escort!
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00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:07,660
Be calm! We must all suffer
for the sake of ART.
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00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:54,874
Dusya's birthday party,
at her place ...
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00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:59,171
Patience, my dear! Soon enough
I'll be the star you yearn for.
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00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:19,351
"Private Experimental Workshop for
Determining Professional Fitness.
Visit us and you will be famous!"
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00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:18,237
What is your goal?
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00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:24,243
To be a movie star ...
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00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:07,486
Take off your clothes. We'll test you
on cold, and then on hot.
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00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:56,168
Sorry ... I really should
have shaved ...
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00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:13,645
You scored very high
on the first test.
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00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:27,092
But look at HER!
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00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,332
She just couldn't
make it!
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00:22:02,921 --> 00:22:04,556
This guy is
really something!
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00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:28,013
Good God! Do you think
he's vaporized?
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00:22:53,572 --> 00:22:56,041
There's one more test.
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00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:03,809
This is official notice that Comrade
G. Palkin has been certified as a cinematic
professional at the highest level.
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00:25:27,659 --> 00:25:30,095
Studio manager
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EXPECTING IMMEDIATE ARRIVAL
MOSCOW PICKFORD AND FAIRBANKS
PREPARE FOR RECEPTION
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00:28:17,128 --> 00:28:19,664
Ready to shoot
a stunt scene.
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00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:43,621
My contract calls for me
to perform, not to die!
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00:29:15,220 --> 00:29:18,723
I've been engaged
as a stunt man.
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00:30:09,607 --> 00:30:11,609
Mary and Doug are
arriving today!
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00:30:46,711 --> 00:30:54,586
Goga is approaching fame!
And Doug and Mary are
approaching Moscow.
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00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:50,368
We forgot about
the stunt man!
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00:33:33,244 --> 00:33:38,883
Hey, we could make him
a RUSSIAN "Doug Fairbanks"!
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00:33:50,128 --> 00:33:52,897
Meanwhile, back at
the studio ...
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... Goga was becoming "Doug"!
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00:35:05,069 --> 00:35:06,437
They're here!
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00:39:18,322 --> 00:39:22,259
Who is that amusing
fellow over there?
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00:39:27,498 --> 00:39:29,166
He's OUR
"Doug Fairbanks".
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00:39:36,173 --> 00:39:43,047
Okay ... now do your
big stunt for Mary.
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00:41:26,383 --> 00:41:33,090
As Goga evades the studio
manager (and certain death!),
the celebrated guests are
being photographed outdoors.
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00:42:00,251 --> 00:42:09,159
Mary wants to play the love
scene with OUR "Doug".
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00:42:17,568 --> 00:42:24,141
The love scene?
I am READY!
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00:44:09,813 --> 00:44:12,483
Oh! ... They're
really kissing!
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00:44:15,619 --> 00:44:17,821
But it's MARY,
you silly!
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00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:22,126
Ooh! Mary!
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00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,402
It's Mary's kiss!
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00:44:44,081 --> 00:44:46,617
He was kissed by Mary!
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00:46:04,628 --> 00:46:07,898
Goga, sweetie,
are you okay?
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00:46:12,569 --> 00:46:16,473
Could a man who's been
kissed by Mary NOT be okay?
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00:46:27,084 --> 00:46:29,853
A plaster, please!
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00:47:28,178 --> 00:47:31,048
Goga, darling, can
I have a lift?
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00:47:32,349 --> 00:47:36,153
I'm really not used to riding
with people who aren't stars!
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00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,896
Exhausted by it all!
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00:49:16,053 --> 00:49:18,088
The star is living fast
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00:49:32,736 --> 00:49:38,775
They're buying tickets just
to have a peak at him!
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00:54:17,254 --> 00:54:21,625
Help, they are torturing me!
Call the police!
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00:54:37,207 --> 00:54:42,045
You've enjoyed our fame already...
That's enough!
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00:55:09,372 --> 00:55:11,541
Scrape!
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00:55:28,725 --> 00:55:34,197
As the famous guests
were leaving Moscow...
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00:55:41,604 --> 00:55:44,007
Goga returned ...
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00:56:28,585 --> 00:56:30,019
The end