NitrateVille.com

Here's a little game for movie buffs where you change ONE letter in a film title and write a short synopsis of your new film.

GONE WITH THE WINE

Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh star are dipsomaniacs in the Old South.

THE WOMAN

Norma Shearer stars with some other women who shall remain nameless.

COVETED WAGON

Alan Hale, Ernest Torrence, and Tully Marshall are all going after J. Warren Kerrigan's rig.

MIRTH OF A NATION

Laugh-riot set in the 1860s.

TWOUBLE IN PAWADISE

Early cut of the famed movie includes scenes later re-shot.

Rick

IMITATION OF LICE

Watch Claudette Colbert go buggy!

BECKY SHARD

Watch Miriam Hopkins go all to pieces!

TO HAVE AND HAVE HOT

Humphrey Bogart finally gets that piping cocoa all to himself....

TWOUBLE IN PAWADISE

Early cut of the famed movie includes scenes later re-shot.

Rick[/quote]

----
...and would the scenes re-shot have included Kay Fwancis, by any chance?

William D. Ferry wrote:TWOUBLE IN PAWADISE

Early cut of the famed movie includes scenes later re-shot.

Rick

----
...and would the scenes re-shot have included Kay Fwancis, by any chance?[/quote]

Of course, anything else would be a TWANSGWESSION or a JEWEL WOBBEWY!

RICK

THREE LOINS IN THE FOUNTAIN

Dorothy McGuire and Clifton Webb wash their meat in public.....

THE MILD PARTY

Clara Bow and Fredric March have an easy semester in this disappointing tale of college life.

GOLDEN PAWN

Noah Beery Sr. and Walter Woolf King both want a mustard-colored chess piece in this odd musical.

ANNIE GET YOUR PUN

Betty Hutton plays Annie Oakley, who gets her man through verbal trickery.

THE LADY BANISHES

Margaret Lockwood takes over a train and leaves the other passengers stranded at the border between two european countries.

THE HAM BUSTERS

Cult British film about secret mission to destroy German dams by bouncing hogs down the waterway.

LA SAMBA

Lou Diamond Phillips plays the role of a lifetime in this bio of Ritchie Valens, international dancing star.

LOUISE BROOKS: LOOKING FOR SULU

Aged star discusses her fascination for the Star Trek series in this documentary.

THE RAD SHOES

Moira Shearer can't stop dancing to the latest hits.

LYRICAL NITRITE

Documentary showing the beauty of old scraps of preserved meat, found in the back of an old A&P.

Rick

TRIUMPH DES WILLIES
The superior Aryan member is unstoppable in its virility as it pounds its way to creating the new master race.

Scabface (a prequel)

Kind Hearts and Coroners

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream Horse

Jail the Conquering Hero

Slow People

Donkey Business

Fold That Ghost (because it's just a sheet)

A double feature:
A Chimp At Oxford
Babes In Boyland

Theodora Goes Mild

I Married A Bitch

A Tale of Two Cuties

A Male of Two Cities

Pity Lights

On Borrowed Mime

Lust Horizon

If I could add a letter instead:
The Thing Man (An alien frozen for years at the north pole defrosts and solves the murder of a scientist.)

Adults only:
A Shit in the Dark
Buck Privates (Only it's an F not a B)

LIVER OF NO RETURN

Marilyn Monroe and Robert Mitchum battle cirrhosis among the tall pines.

CANHANDLED

Gloria Swanson gets groped on a subway.

Soylent Preen
Charlton Heston opens up a
woman's spa that will guarantee
youth forever.....but at a price.

Public Enema
What James Cagney subjects his enemies'
too.

A Sailor Made Man
Harold Lloyd beat me to it.

LORNA DRONE

Dis-inherited Lorna is rescued from a gang by use of drones in this updated romance.

THE GIRL WITH A BATBOX

A young girl lives in the country and delivers her hand-raised bats to Moscow in this Soviet comedy.

ARSENIC AND OLD MACE

Two little old ladies commit murder by any means necessary.

CITIZEN DANE

When talkies arrived, things were bleak for Karl Dane, who had a thick accent. Fortunately, he inherited mining interests and went into the newspaper business, dabbling with politics and concentrating on furnishing his huge mansion. When asked how life would be if he could speak English better, he laughed and said, “I’d probably still be a comedian in the movies.”

MANDELAY

Kay Francis is stuck in Asia without any men in her life.

THE MARCH KING

Warren William ruthlessly tries to corner the market on all the marches being written.

SHE DONE HAM WRONG

Some guests at Mae West's picnic get trichinosis.

Rick

ON A CLEAR DAY YOU CAN PEE FOREVER

Barbra Streisand on diuretics.

DEAR WINDOW

Jimmy Stewart as an invalid who writes cheery letters to unseen neighbors beyond his sill.

THE STRANGE LOBES OF MARTHA IVERS

Barbara Stanwyck considers radical ear surgery.

THE BACHELOR BATHER

Marion Davies has her big sponge ready.

BATTLING BUTTER

Buster Keaton goes on a health kick.

THE GRASS MENAGERIE

Jane Wyman goes to a lawn party.

WAFFLES

Kay Francis and Ronald Colman up to their knees in stolen dough.

TONS OF THE DESERT: Stanley repeatedly dumps truckloads of sand on Ollie's car.

THE GOLD RASH: The film that explains Chaplin's walk.

A DAY AT THE LACES: Margaret Dumont hires three expert corset makers . . .

THE THREE STOOGES MELT HERCULES: Who knew bodybuilder's oil was inflammable?

COLLAGE: A compilation of newly discovered Keaton footage.

BARK OF ZORRO: Remake with Rin Tin Tin as Dog Diego.

TUCK PRIVATES: Abbott and Costello join the WACs

EACH DAWN I LIE

James Cagney and George Raft tell wild unbelievable stories about what they did the night before.

"BINGS"

Bing Crosby sings to Clara Bow from an aeroplane in this aerial epic.

"SINNER AT EIGHT"

The picture that Jean Harlow thought she was making.

"THE SLACK PIRATE"

Douglas Fairbanks had trouble with the unions on this picture.

"THE FAN WHO CAME TO DINNER"

A tourist wanders in on set and upsets Monte Woolley

"THE 39 STOPS"

A spy thriller set in a Wurlitzer organ

'THE BANK LICK"

W.C. Fields looks after some spilled booze on the banking chamber floor.

"BEYOND THE SOCKS"

Gloria Swanson does Rudy Valentino's washing in this romantic adventure.


(Thanks to all the others efforts who are far better than mine and have had me in hysterics!)

THE GREAT HATSBY
Mysterious party host and his snappy headwear

THE TAUNTING
Ghosts relentlessly tease paranormal investigators

THE HOUND OF MUSIC
An alpine hound serenades the Alps and bites Nazis

HELLO BOLLY!
An Indian matchmaker has a client list of 20 million, all of whom can dance

IT'S A SAD SAD SAD SAD WORLD
Stanley Kramer's original title for Judgement in Nuremberg

The Sound of the Baskervilles - Starring Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, and Basil Rathbone

Two Cars
- a low budget Laurel and Hardy movie, while on shore leave they wreck two cars, the the film ends

Swiss Diss
- another L&H low budget, they consider going to Switzerland but then decide it is a lousy place to visit

Way Out Vest
- L&H travel in time to do some shopping on Carnaby st

BUtterfield 9

A pizza place gets phone orders for things not on its menu.

THE MOST DANGEROUS DAME

Joel McCrea learns the truth about Fay Wray.

BLAND UPON THE BRAIN

Guy Maddin makes a boring movie.

CRIMES AT MIDNIGHT

Orson Welles combines Shakespearean themes to create this crime noir.

A POOL THERE WAS

Theda Bara makes a poor lifeguard as she leads men to their watery deaths.

HE Who Gets Slipped

Audiences laugh hysterically each night as a clown gets put into lingerie.

THE INVISIBLE WAY

Boris Karloff can't find his way home at night, even though he is glowing.

THE WILD ONO

Yoko takes Marlon's role in this update.

THE HAY OF THE JACKAL

Assassin plans to intercept the President of France on a visit to the country.

THE QUEEN OF SHADES

An elderly lady reveals to a young man her secret to winning at cards; sunglasses to hide her eyes from the other players.

THE PRISONER OF ZELDA

Lewis Stone/Ronald Colman/Stewart Granger (depending on your wishes*) is impersonating his cousin when he is imprisoned by Zelda (from Dobie Gillis) or Princess Zelda (in the Nintendo Game).
*Yes, I know there are more versions.

WATCH ON THE RHINO

A member of the German resistance, Paul Lukas, comes to America only to discover that the reach of the Nazis extends all the way to the National Zoo.

25 PACES TO BAKER STREET

Van Johnson plays a blind man who tragically gets run over on his way to investigate a possible crime.

HALL DRIVERS

British film shows the trials and tribulations of message deliverers in a large office building.

THE MAGIC LOX

William Friese-Greene discovers a new recipe while working on an invention.

Rick

REACHING FOR THE POON

Douglas Fairbanks gets frisky.

THE SHIN MAN

William Powell gets REALLY specific in his leg fetish.

A STOLEN LIME

Bette Davis gets desperate for a cure for scurvy.

RED BUST

Jean Harlow tries on a crimson bra.

THE POSY EXPRESS

Betty Compson delivers flowers to starving pioneers.

THE ROMAN STRING OF MRS. STONE

Vivien Leigh starts a cottage industry in Italian hemp.

FARTY HUSBAND

Dorothy Mackaill leaves, and who could blame her....

Gay Out West


Mystery of the Reaping Fish
Beware of the ocean...

or...

Mystery of the Leaping Gish

better yet...

Mystery of the Reaping Gish
Into the grave, endlessly chopping...

CRAMP, CRAMP, CRAMP
Infantile Harry Langdon eats too many green apples and suffers the consequences.

BED-HEADED WOMAN
Saucy pre-code with Jean Harlow, whose amorous episodes lead to frequent bad hair days.

SINGIN IN THE DRAIN
After falling into the sewer, McTeague and Trina discover that they're ecstatically happy there.

PIGMALION
Leslie Howard tries to make a silk purse from a sow.

FLUSH AND THE DEVIL
John Gilbert and Greta Garbo open a plumbing business.

THE DEVIL IS A ROMAN
Marlene Dietrich is Boadicea, driving out the southern invaders

THE CAPTAIN HATES THE TEA

Coffee, damn it!

THE MEMBER OF THE WELDING

Julie Harris tears up the joint.

CACTUS BLOWER

Goldie Hawn in a thorny act.

LEACHES

Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey vs the bloodsuckers.

One can really get addicted to this: -

THE OLD BARK HOUSE

Charles Laughton leaves his dogs with Boris Karloff at some kennels in Yorkshire

ON THE PEACH

Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner and Fred Astaire eat radio-active fruit.

ONE BLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST

Jack Nicholson surprises all at a birthday celebration dinner in a lunatic asylum

ONE POUR WITH YOU

Ernst Lubitsch's delightful musical comedy takes place at tea time.

ONE FIGHT OF LOVE

Grace Moore stars as a temperamental diva in a torrid romance


OUR LANCING DAUGHTERS

Joan Crawford kicks up her heels in a hospital

ORPHANS OF THE STORE

The Gish sisters get lost after shopping

PAPER GOON

Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe star in this picture about the making of stationery.

THE PARADINE CAPE

A court case involving Dracula

CATCH ADAMS

Police are called to arrest a lunatic with a false red nose harassing sick children.

PICNIC AT HANGING SOCK

A group of schoolgirls are overcome with fumes after a picnic.

THE PUNK PANTHER STRIKES AGAIN

Inspector Clousseau teams with Sid Vicious

MINK STRUNG AND HEALING MAX

In Victorian England a rich landlady is into exotic S & M


PLANTS, BRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES

two guys have problems in a plant nursery on their way to an airport.

PLAYMITES

Kay Kayser and his orchestra have fun with insects

POINTED FEELS

William Powell and Helen Kane in a real pre-code musical.

PRIVATE HIVES

Two lovers on honeymoon get stung

THE LUNCH AND JUDY MAN

An itinerant showman who cannot complete his shows due to hunger

QUEEN BELLY

Gloria Swanson was noticeably pregnant during filming

BEAR WINDOW

Jimmy Stewart looks through his binoculars after taking LSD

PALE AND FEMALE

Gloria Swanson and Bebe Daniels play shipwrecked albinos.

FEEL MY PURSE

Bebe Daniels has a soft pocketbook.

THE NAIR CO-ED

Marion Davies has a close shave on the basketball court.

HAYTIME

Jeanette MacDonald down on the farm.

BUNRISE

Janet Gaynor trades her blonde wig for baking courses.

ONE DAY PASSAGE

Kay Francis and William Powell in a whirlwind romance.

THE PRINCE OF TILES

Barbra Streisand talks Nick Nolte out of going into ceramics.

LEARY RIVER

Richard Barthelmess tries to decide whether to sing or not.

A STAR IS WORN

Just ask Janet Gaynor, Judy Garland, and Barbra Streisand.

PAST A DARK SHADOW

Dirk Bogarde should shave more often.

A TOUCH OF CRASS

Why Glenda Jackson will never work with George Segal again.

NUNNY FACE

Audrey Hepburn gets ahead of herself.

HOT SMELL

Shirley Booth wonders what's under her stoop.

SLOW PEOPLE

Marion Davies and William Haines just don't get it.

MY BRILLIANT CAREEN

Judy Davis takes a wrong turn down under.

PORN YESTERDAY

Judy Holliday gets Broderick Crawford and William Holden to clean up their acts.

THE BAKED EDGE

Gary Cooper and Deborah Kerr inspect crust.

THE IRON CASK -
Douglas Fairbanks tires of battling evil 17th century Frenchmen and gets blotto instead.

THE MAMMY RETURNS: Archeologists awaken Al Jolson.

THE BUNS OF NAVARONE: The exercise regime that changed the course of the war.

LOVE FINES ANDY HARDY: Mickey Rooney's first encounter with alimony.

THE BIG BLEEP: Philip Marlowe doesn't mince words.

BLACKHEADS: Stan and Ollie are dermatologists.

ANNE OF THE UNDIES: A swash unbuckler.

HOW, VOYAGER: Bette Davis finds liberation with a Native American tribe.

SWEET CZARITY: Shirley MacLaine thinks she's the reincarnation of Nicholas II.

THE THONG FROM ANOTHER WORLD -- "But who -- or what -- could wear such a garment?"

OK, I'm cheating on this one. Sorry.


Now V'ger - Bette Davis gets the moon AND the stars. And very nearly gets the Enterprise too.


Side note: This thread makes me wish the forum had a "like" button. There's a TON of really funny titles and descriptions here!