What Press Agents Really Thought

[Bruce Long]

The Associated Motion Picture Advertisers monthly bulletin for August 1923 included a short piece written by Arthur James, titled "I Am the Press Agent". It was reprinted in Louella Parsons' column in the Morning Telegraph.

I am the press agent--I am the King maker. I take an Accident and I make his greatness... I give it speech that sounds. I give it character and virtues. I give it parts and clothe the false entirety in garments that bespeak the scholar and the gentleman. I pluck the ignoramus from the mire and hold him high and call upon the world to see the lily upon the dustheap.

I groan for others' lack of modesty and laugh the while I superintend their fleeting hours of fame.

I understand, I know, I feel, and yet the passion for publicity contrives to let me do for them what I'd abominate if done for me.

I am an understanding on two legs that strives and wins for others the things I scorn myself. I work for pay--aye, so do all of us who work and yet my full and rich reward lies rather in the game...

I know full well how good I am, aye, and just how filled with faults...

I am the shield for ignorance. I am the sword and buckler of incompetence. I am the forgiver of the fathead and alibi for the big stiff.

I am considerable feller--I am the Press Agent.

[Jim Roots]

And then there's Andy Millman's agent in Extras...


Jim