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I finally got around to watching TCM's Halloween showing of Murder in the Zoo. This one's really nasty, even for a pre-Code.

What an opening scene. That'll teach the guy for kissing the wrong woman.

But the event near the end got me to thinking: We should be able to come up with a set of preCode rules.

PreCode Rule Number One: If you find yourself in a preCode movie, Never, NEVER, argue with your spouse while you are standing on a bridge over an alligator pond.

Lokke Heiss wrote:
PreCode Rule Number One: If you find yourself in a preCode movie, Never, NEVER, argue with your spouse while you are standing on a bridge over an alligator pond.

Rule Number Two: If you choose to service your boss in order to get ahead in your company, choose a room with a lockable door (Baby Face)

Harlett O'Dowd wrote:

Lokke Heiss wrote:
PreCode Rule Number One: If you find yourself in a preCode movie, Never, NEVER, argue with your spouse while you are standing on a bridge over an alligator pond.

Rule Number Two: If you choose to service your boss in order to get ahead in your company, choose a room with a lockable door (Baby Face)

Rule Number Three, which applies mainly to the aspiring pre-code woman: discard your foundation garments.

Fred

Rule Number Four: Crack wise with a list of witty double entendres in 60 minutes or less. Example - Joan Blondell explaining to her friend in Footlight Parade that there would always be work for her as long as there were sidewalks.

Avoid Charlie Ruggles.

Bob

All female executives must have (1) an organ loft in the foyer and (2) a really large pool in the backyard that looks just like the "By a Waterfall" pool.

Rudyfan wrote

All female executives must have an organ loft in the foyer

What an elaborate triple metaphor.


Bob

boblipton wrote:Avoid Charlie Ruggles.

Bob

Embrace Warren William

rudyfan wrote:

boblipton wrote:Avoid Charlie Ruggles.

Bob

Embrace Warren William

Shoot Ricardo Cortez.

Fred

boblipton wrote:Rudyfan wrote

All female executives must have an organ loft in the foyer

What an elaborate triple metaphor.


Bob

What? You've never seen Female with Ruth Chatterton?

Of course I have, Donna. I just didn't realize these were all required euphemisms.

Bob

Poison Ricardo Cortez.

Fred

Throw Ricardo Cortez overboard?

greta de groat wrote:Throw Ricardo Cortez overboard?

After both poisoning and shooting him. Gotta make sure these things are done thoroughly.

Always smoke the "funny" cigarettes you are offered.

Rick Lanham wrote:Always smoke the "funny" cigarettes you are offered.

Be best pals with Una Merkel.

Fred
(running out of ways to rub out Ricardo Cortez)

Rule Number Three, subparagraph one: Ladies if you must wear foundation garments take Claudette Colbert's advice, i.e., jazz up your lingerie.

If you cannot poison or shoot Ricardo Cortez, stab him--preferably in the middle of a public place, like a nightclub.

Do not go on canoe rides, especially with Phillips Holmes or Groucho Marx.

If Richard Barthelmess says everything is going to be fine, assume ruin is at hand.

Never trust a newspaperman. Especially if he's Lee Tracy or Boris Karloff.

If Lilyan Tashman takes an interest in you, hold on to your bankroll.

Rule Number Five:
Always rely on Guy Kibbee to be on hand to "promote the career" of at least one delicious nubile per pre-code.

Rule Number Six:
The nogoodnicks and salacious may fornicate, lie, steal, bootleg and get away with murder during most of the pre-code but usually pay for their "sins" by the last reel.

Rule Number Seven:
Yes, you can tell I am enjoying this thread a lot.
The characters must drink a lot of swell cocktails with their swell friends dressed in swell clothes at a lot of swell nightclubs. And that overall is simply......swell.

dr.giraud wrote:Never trust a newspaperman. Especially if he's Lee Tracy or Boris Karloff.

But you can trust Ned Sparks.

Fred

For me, MURDERS IN THE ZOO is a love story...

When accepting an invitation for a mad costume party aboard a dirigible, it's a good idea to check the weather forecast before accepting. Incorporating a parachutte into your costume design is a plus too.

If you can't afford to send El Brendel into space, stick a monkey into his trousers.

George Brent perfectly accessorizes every ensemble.

Fred

If you can't locate Ricardo Cortez for a good stabbing, shooting, poisoning, or overboard-tossing, target Basil Rathbone.

Fred

Just don't mess with Nigel.

MGH wrote:Just don't mess with Nigel.

de Brulier?

Hmmm... been taking lessons from Frederica, have you?