Top Ten Ways Studios Used to Punish Misbehaving Stars

[The Blackbird]

10. Send him Ted Lewis as a houseguest

9. Threaten to change his name back to Archie Leach

8. Send him on a cross-country auto trip with El Brendel

7. Inform her that her new role is getting groped by William Haines in his latest movie.

6. Book her as a Mystery Guest on WHAT'S MY LINE? but don't have the panellists even bother with the blindfolds

5. Sign him up for charity scrabble match playing opposite Mel Torme

4. Tell him his new screen appearance will be as one of Ted Healy's Replacement Stooges

3. Force him to spend a week locked in a room with Billy Gilbert after obliging him to ask him, "Do you do dialects?"

2. Rush him into hasty marriage with Judy Garland

1. "Let slip" to Hedda Hopper he once said something not 100% critical of Russia

[Dave Pitts]

And if those don't work:
(Actress:) Love interest in new Frank Fay vehicle
(Actor:) Straight man in new Frank Fay vehicle
(Child star:) Polio-infected child in new Frank Fay vehicle

[boblipton]

And if those don't work:
(Actress:) Love interest in new Frank Fay vehicle
(Actor:) Straight man in new Frank Fay vehicle
(Child star:) Polio-infected child in new Frank Fay vehicle

Forced to marry Frank Fay or William Haines.

Bob

[wingate]

Mercury Theatre Actor in 1940:Going to an interview with Louella Parsons

[Gumlegs]

4. Tell him his new screen appearance will be as one of Ted Healy's Replacement Stooges

Somewhere, Mousie Garner is itching to punch you in the nose.