Coming up with "The Rules," after watching Murder

Lokke Heiss · Post by **Lokke Heiss** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:23 pm

I finally got around to watching TCM's Halloween showing of Murder in the Zoo. This one's really nasty, even for a pre-Code.

What an opening scene. That'll teach the guy for kissing the wrong woman.

But the event near the end got me to thinking: We should be able to come up with a set of preCode rules.

PreCode Rule Number One: If you find yourself in a preCode movie, Never, NEVER, argue with your spouse while you are standing on a bridge over an alligator pond.

Harlett O'Dowd · Post by **Harlett O'Dowd** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:32 pm

Lokke Heiss wrote:
PreCode Rule Number One: If you find yourself in a preCode movie, Never, NEVER, argue with your spouse while you are standing on a bridge over an alligator pond.

Rule Number Two: If you choose to service your boss in order to get ahead in your company, choose a room with a lockable door (Baby Face)

Frederica · Post by **Frederica** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:01 pm

Harlett O'Dowd wrote:
Lokke Heiss wrote:
PreCode Rule Number One: If you find yourself in a preCode movie, Never, NEVER, argue with your spouse while you are standing on a bridge over an alligator pond.
Rule Number Two: If you choose to service your boss in order to get ahead in your company, choose a room with a lockable door (Baby Face)

Rule Number Three, which applies mainly to the aspiring pre-code woman: discard your foundation garments.

Fred

silentstar5 · Post by **silentstar5** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:23 pm

Rule Number Four: Crack wise with a list of witty double entendres in 60 minutes or less. Example - Joan Blondell explaining to her friend in Footlight Parade that there would always be work for her as long as there were sidewalks.

boblipton · Post by **boblipton** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:46 pm

Avoid Charlie Ruggles.

Bob

rudyfan · Post by **rudyfan** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:52 pm

All female executives must have (1) an organ loft in the foyer and (2) a really large pool in the backyard that looks just like the "By a Waterfall" pool.

boblipton · Post by **boblipton** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:55 pm

Rudyfan wrote

All female executives must have an organ loft in the foyer

What an elaborate triple metaphor.

Bob

rudyfan · Post by **rudyfan** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:55 pm

boblipton wrote:Avoid Charlie Ruggles.

Bob

Embrace Warren William

Frederica · Post by **Frederica** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:06 pm

rudyfan wrote:
boblipton wrote:Avoid Charlie Ruggles.

Bob
Embrace Warren William

Shoot Ricardo Cortez.

Fred

rudyfan · Post by **rudyfan** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:15 pm

boblipton wrote:Rudyfan wrote

All female executives must have an organ loft in the foyer

What an elaborate triple metaphor.

Bob

What? You've never seen Female with Ruth Chatterton?

boblipton · Post by **boblipton** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:17 pm

Of course I have, Donna. I just didn't realize these were all required euphemisms.

Bob

Frederica · Post by **Frederica** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:30 pm

Poison Ricardo Cortez.

Fred

greta de groat · Post by **greta de groat** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:48 pm

Throw Ricardo Cortez overboard?

Post by **Danny Burk** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:03 pm

greta de groat wrote:Throw Ricardo Cortez overboard?

After both poisoning and shooting him. Gotta make sure these things are done thoroughly.

Rick Lanham · Post by **Rick Lanham** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:19 pm

Always smoke the "funny" cigarettes you are offered.

Frederica · Post by **Frederica** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:18 pm

Rick Lanham wrote:Always smoke the "funny" cigarettes you are offered.

Be best pals with Una Merkel.

Fred
(running out of ways to rub out Ricardo Cortez)

dr.giraud · Post by **dr.giraud** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:19 pm

Rule Number Three, subparagraph one: Ladies if you must wear foundation garments take Claudette Colbert's advice, i.e., jazz up your lingerie.

If you cannot poison or shoot Ricardo Cortez, stab him--preferably in the middle of a public place, like a nightclub.

Do not go on canoe rides, especially with Phillips Holmes or Groucho Marx.

If Richard Barthelmess says everything is going to be fine, assume ruin is at hand.

dr.giraud · Post by **dr.giraud** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:22 pm

Never trust a newspaperman. Especially if he's Lee Tracy or Boris Karloff.

If Lilyan Tashman takes an interest in you, hold on to your bankroll.

silentstar5 · Post by **silentstar5** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:47 pm

Rule Number Five:
Always rely on Guy Kibbee to be on hand to "promote the career" of at least one delicious nubile per pre-code.

silentstar5 · Post by **silentstar5** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:51 pm

Rule Number Six:
The nogoodnicks and salacious may fornicate, lie, steal, bootleg and get away with murder during most of the pre-code but usually pay for their "sins" by the last reel.

silentstar5 · Post by **silentstar5** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:57 pm

Rule Number Seven:
Yes, you can tell I am enjoying this thread a lot.
The characters must drink a lot of swell cocktails with their swell friends dressed in swell clothes at a lot of swell nightclubs. And that overall is simply......swell.

Frederica · Post by **Frederica** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:03 pm

dr.giraud wrote:Never trust a newspaperman. Especially if he's Lee Tracy or Boris Karloff.

But you can trust Ned Sparks.

Fred

radiotelefonia · Post by **radiotelefonia** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:49 am

For me, MURDERS IN THE ZOO is a love story...

Harlett O'Dowd · Post by **Harlett O'Dowd** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:29 am

When accepting an invitation for a mad costume party aboard a dirigible, it's a good idea to check the weather forecast before accepting. Incorporating a parachutte into your costume design is a plus too.

Harlett O'Dowd · Post by **Harlett O'Dowd** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:30 am

If you can't afford to send El Brendel into space, stick a monkey into his trousers.

Frederica · Post by **Frederica** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:43 am

George Brent perfectly accessorizes every ensemble.

Fred

Frederica · Post by **Frederica** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:49 pm

If you can't locate Ricardo Cortez for a good stabbing, shooting, poisoning, or overboard-tossing, target Basil Rathbone.

Fred

MGH · Post by **MGH** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:56 pm

Just don't mess with Nigel.

Harlett O'Dowd · Post by **Harlett O'Dowd** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 4:58 pm

MGH wrote:Just don't mess with Nigel.

de Brulier?

MGH · Post by **MGH** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 5:16 pm

Hmmm... been taking lessons from Frederica, have you?

Coming up with "The Rules," after watching Murder

Coming up with "The Rules," after watching Murder

Re: Coming up with "The Rules," after watching Mur

Re: Coming up with "The Rules," after watching Mur